Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Wife Fights the Hillbillies

Here was the scene: we put out our trash and recycling last night. Less than a minute after we went back inside, we came back out to fetch the cat. Our hillbilly neighbors were taking all the bottles from our recycling. That's when the fun began.

Wife: Can I help you?
Female Hillbilly: We're just grabbing the recyclables.
Wife: I can see that. I don't want you digging through our stuff.
Female Hillbilly: I don't do that, he does (pointing at Male Hillbilly).
Male Hillbilly: I only take the bottles and cans. I make money off those.
Wife: Yeah, but I don't want you digging through our stuff.
Male Hillbilly: I don't dig through your stuff, I just get the bottles and cans.
Wife: Yeah, why don't you stop digging through our stuff?

Hillbillies walk away...

Male Hillbilly: Well that was bitchy!

Later, the wife went back out and was nicer, saying that she was just surprised to see our neighbors going through our recyclables, and that we'd leave any bottles and cans out for them next time. And to clarify why we're concerned... we have big recycing bins that hold paper, plastic and cans, all mixed together. Someone fishing for cans could find personal information, although we try to shred anything questionable. The wife went over there mostly out of the fear that they'd retaliate in some way, like by breaking in or slashing our tires. While over there, Female Hillbilly said "We don't dig through your recycling," later adding, "Well, we haven't dug through your recycling in 3 weeks."

We had to call the police on these same hillbillies last week, when the younger guy who lives there got in a loud, drunken, and profane argument with the older guy who lives there. They were this close to physically fighting. Officers put at least one of them in the squad car, although I don't know how it all ended. I don't get these people at all. It's like their house is just a backdrop to their lives; everything they do is outside. The older hillbilly man has a ponytail and wears a lot of turquoise, and always is drunk. On a nearly daily basis he is outside the home, swearing loudly at the woman who is inside the home. And no matter the weather, they seem to spend most of their time in or around the front yard. I don't understand.

The house next to them went up for sale, after being a rental. It didn't sell, but that likely has more to do with the economy and the house being over-priced. However, we did notice that the hillbillies cleaned up their front yard, got rid of some of the trash on the front of their property, and actually planted a little garden. We wondered if they were changing... perhaps kicking drugs or booze or something. What we later learned from another neighbor, is that the realtor trying to sell the house complained loudly and long enough to the city about their squalid home, that somebody came out and threatened to fine them if they didn't clean up.

In some ways, they're reasonably resourceful people. We saw them brewing their own wine in a carbuoy in the driveway recently (mind you, it was sitting on top of the broken down washing machine). They scavenge for bottles and cans, and appear to get by. But without jobs, I wonder how they afford to live. Our neighborhood is reasonably nice. It's sort of on the edge of where the trendy neighborhood ends and the trashy one begins, so there's definitely some spill-over. My guess is that they inherited a home from a more successful and ambitious ancestor. We're just crossing our fingers that enough of them will get arrested, or they won't be able to make whatever payments they have to make to stay in the house, and they'll be forced to move out.

I give the hillbillies about $4 worth of empty beer bottles.

1 comment:

Midge said...
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