Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Self Check-Out

My local grocery store, Fred Meyer, has those fancy self check-out units. There are approximately 16 of these, manned by either one or two employees, depending how busy it is. I was there last night with my friend Mike, and I told him how much I enjoyed using the self-serve units. Here's part of the reason why: It makes me glad I finished college. I realize that makes me an elitist bastard, but I'm really glad I am able to make a living doing something I think is worthwhile, not doing something soul-crushing like working as a grocery store checker. I had a terrible job with the phone company inbetween my stints in college, and that really forced me to realize that most non-professional jobs are craptastic. I realize that's a generalization, but it's one I think is true.

One other note on self-serve units:
The only reason stores install these things is to save money. They can put one checker in charge of a dozen checkstands, instead of a 1:1 ratio. However, they don't lower the cost of groceries accordingly. So I've hatched an ingenious plan to get revenge. When you buy produce on one of these, you have to enter the numeric code corresponding to that kind of fruit or vegetable, then the computer weighs it and charges you. I say fuck that. No matter what I'm buying (the more expensive the better), I enter the code for yellow onions. I think that's about the cheapest veggie you can get. Last night I got 3 avocados (suggested price: $1 each) for a grand total of .90 cents. I realize it's only a few pennies at a time, but in that way I get my discount while Fred Meyer gets theirs. The checker is always too busy manning all those checkstands to notice what I'm doing. It's a perfect plan.

Self-Serve Checkstands: I give them one suffocating plastic grocery bag.
My Produce Plan: I give that 5 reusable canvas grocery bags, the kind you can use over and over again.


Midge said...
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Libby said...

The is brilliant! I have no qualms whatsoever about charging myself for onions in lieu of something more exotic and expensive. Stick it to 'em!