Scotch Egg

You are looking at a scotch egg. I finally had the courage to order one recently from our local British pub, "The Horse Brass." To those of you who have never had a scotch egg, it's basically a hard-boiled egg, encased in sausage, and deep fried. It came with potato chips and a honey-mustard sauce. I was anticipating a gut bomb, but it wasn't bad. Eggs, good. Sausage, good. Deep Fried, GOOOOOD! It had a surprising lightness to it. It was sliced on the top like a radish rose, sort of open at the top. The sausage was mild but flavorful. I highly recommend it to all of you. It's even better at the Horse Brass, where you get monster pints, much bigger than those sissy beers at crap bars.

I give the scotch egg two pudgy, cholesterol-laden thumbs up!

Barack Obama E-Mail

I can't believe this. I'm sure you've seen the Barack Obama email going around. Basically it says he's a radical Muslim terrorist looking to bring down the U.S. from the inside. You can read it yourself here.

Even more outrageous, the Clark County Republicans posted it on their official website as legitimate! They took it down, with a shabby near-apology. I find the quote from MLK on the top of the page especially ironic.

I wonder how this vicious email began. I can see it one of two ways, although I'm confident I know which it is. The nicer explanation (if there is one) is that some well-meaning, albiet misguided, person took a series of urban legends or coincidences and connected dots that weren't there. The more realistic scenario is much worse. Republican douchebag apparachiks pumped out a series of plausible sounding lies to smear a legitimate threat to become president. At least I hope they were Republicans. I'd hate to see Democrats stooping to this. A reporter at a Portland station tried to get answers as to why the local GOP would advance this bullshit. Their lame-ass response is here, or at least it will be soon.

I hate what our political process has become and give the Clark County GOP a big middle finger.

Nintendo Wii

So as I mentioned in an earlier post, I got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas. I normally am a sports game only kind of video gamer. I love NBA Live and NCAA Football for my PS 2. But I played the Wii at a friend's house earlier this year and fell in love. I realize I'm not breaking any new ground here, but I've had so much fun with that thing. In addition to the sports game the console comes with, we bought a few games, too. We've had a couple of Wii parties so far, too, to great success. Here's a couple of quick reviews on the games we have.

Super Paper Mario:
This game captures the fun of the old Super Nintendo "Mario Brothers" franchise, but also utilizes the graphics capabilities of the Wii. The game is mostly played in 2D,a flat look. But to get through the levels, you must flip Mario into the third dimension, a clever way to make the challenges more interesting. My only beef with the game is the sheer amount of exposition. It's good that the game has a story, but you can go 20 minutes without actually playing, just reading the storyline.
I give this game three and a half mustaches.

Wario Ware - Smooth Moves:
I love this game. It basically consists of dozens of mini-games, designed to utilize the unique Wii controller to its full effect. There are dozens of ways to move the controller. For example: the remote control. You hold the controller like a remote control, and then mimic the move shown on screen. You have 3-5 seconds to figure out what you're supposed to do, and then do it. But with so many moves, you have to think quick to pass the game. It's a great party game, because you can hand off the controller to everyone.
I give this game four bulbous pink noses.

Wii Play:
This is the weakest of the games, but is good for Wii novices. It consists of ten or so mini-games that teach the basic moves you can do with the controller. Most of them are simple, and forgettable. However, ping-pong, air hockey, and the cow races are a lot of fun.
I give this game one big shoulder shrug and an "eh."

Wii Sports:
This is the basic game that comes with the console. It contains several sports, bowling, tennis, baseball, boxing, golf, and maybe one other. Bowling is the best. It's reasonably realistic, and a lot of fun. Tennis is great, as is golf. Boxing is tiring, and the controls are kind of vague. I was never sure why some punches were more successful than others. Baseball isn't even worth trying.
I give this game a turkey (that's three strikes in a row in bowling. Score!)

Overall, I have to say the Wii is the greatest game console ever. That said, I still haven't played NBA Live or other sports simulation games. I will try them in the future, but we'll see. Also, the Mii feature is a ton of fun. It allows you to design characters to play the games. We made ourselves, our friends, and a few other characters for fun, including Lil' Hitler and Kim Jong Il (Kimmy J).

Dubai?

One of my best friends (he was a groomsman in my wedding for Christ's sake) announced on Monday he's moving to Dubai. His girlfriend got a job as a librarian at a college there. Dubai is a city in the United Arab Emirates, sandwiched between Saudi Arabia and Oman. Although it's the most westernized city and country in the Arab world, it's still smack dab in the middle of the Middle East.



I'm kind of at a loss here. On one hand, I think it's kind of cool he will get to live abroad, but on the other hand, I'm losing one of my best friends. It's a three year contract, so we're not exactly talking about a short-term thing. He has to marry his girlfriend, so he can get a visa. They're looking at it as a paperwork marriage, not a real one. They don't want to spoil the wedding they may someday have.

The job itself comes with a lot of perks, including nine weeks of vacation, and two round-trip tickets a year to any where in the world. Each. Plus, she'll make considerably more per year than now, and their housing and transportation will be taken care of by the school. All of those perks are great for them, plus the adventure of living in a foreign land. Does it make me selfish to wish he'd stay? My wife, Midge, is jealous that they get to try this. She's always been an incurable traveler, and studied abroad for 8 months in college. Ugh... I just don't know what to make of this.

It's Been Awhile...

Sorry for not posting for awhile. I've been busy. Back off!

So, where was I? Oh yeah. Christmas was a lot of fun, albeit a couple of weeks ago. I had to work on Christmas eve, but was off at 5, so not too bad. The wife and I hosted her parents, my sisters, and my sister's husband and twin 8-year-old boys for dinner and gifts. It was fun, but a lot of hard work. Our menu was as follows:

- Pan-fried chicken cutlets and Portobello mushroom caps smothered in a gorgonzola/pear/wine sauce
- Potato-Cheese Casserole (thank you Betty Crocker)
- Salad
- Oyster Chowder, made completely from scratch. It was hard, but delicious.
- Crescent Rolls

All of those items were great, and were a big hit. The big disappointment of the night was our pumpkin squash raviolis, smothered in a brown butter sage walnut sauce. We made the filling from scratch the day before, hand-stuffed the ravioli skins, and refrigerated them on wax paper. What we didn't think of was that the squash had liquid inside it, and made the pasta all squishy overnight. So when we boiled them, it became an orange goopy mess. Needless to say, we didn't eat it, although the sauce was delicious.

Now to the presents... one of which was a Nintendo Wii. I'll tell you all about it in my next blog, I swear. I'll also write about our experience on Christmas Day at the Rose Garden, watching the Blazers drag the Sonics sorry ass up and down the court.

I give this Christmas Eve dinner: 12 "impossible to crack open so you have to steam them" oysters. Delish!

Dexter

Now, we're only two discs deep into the first season, so bear with me here, but this is the best new TV show I've seen since Lost. Dexter is about a blood specialist with the Miami police. He tracks killers by day, and is, oh yeah, a mass murderer by night. Dexter stars Michael C. Hall of Six Feet Under fame. It's incredible how different the two characters he's played are, and how he manages to pull of both in such a believable way.

Dexter doesn't kill just to kill (although he really likes it). His adoptive father, a police officer, recognized his sociopathic tendencies as a child, and pushed him to punish wicked people, instead of murdering innocent victims. He teaches him how to avoid getting caught, which is how Dexter racks up so many kills. His little sister is also a cop, struggling to make her mark as a homicide detective. Dexter also has a personal life, dating a woman his sister set him up with. But he has absolutely no interest in her, other than a desire to appear normal. But the ongoing plot, at least so far, is Dexter's pursuit of the "Ice Truck Killer," a serial killer who has also figured out Dexter's secret.

The real thrill of this show is the "whodunit" nature of each episode, following Dexter as he tries to decipher the Ice Truck Killer's latest clues, or avoid capture. But the show has a genuine soft side as well. It's interesting to watch Dexter learn how to simulate normal human emotion. We see flashbacks of his dad teaching him how to act normal, and watch as he tries to figure out how to appear responsive to his girlfriend's problems. The show pulls off the impossible: making a serial killer sympathetic. Hell, you downright root for him. If we could get our goddamn Netflix queue straight, we would have probably finished the season already, but que sera sera.

I give Dexter one severed Barbie. You'll get the reference if you watch the show.

For Your Consideration

Let me begin this blog by saying I'm a huge fan of Christopher Guest and his crew of mockumentarians. "Spinal Tap," "Waiting For Guffman," "Best in Show," and "A Mighty Wind" all had their strong and weak points, but all were entertaining in their own way. I eagerly anticipated their latest film, "For Your Consideration." I was profoundly disappointed. I saw it at the theater when it came out, but just watched it again last night on cable, and it reminded me how much I hated it.

Guest and his regulars always focus on some form of showbiz, but this time took it to Hollywood. No more small town musicals or musicians in the twilight of their careers. "For Your Consideration" is about the shooting of a small movie about a Jewish family, called "Home For Purum." The cast is full of no-names and has-beens, but a buzz about possible Oscar nominations sets the cast into a flurry. The cast starts getting freaked out about the recognition, and the media starts to pay attention to the film. It culminates when the Oscar nominations come out, and we see what happens to those who were slighted.

There are a few good gags here, but none of them by the main characters (with exception of one great, but sad visual gag late in the movie). That's a bad sign. I think the worst part of this movie, though, is the hopelessness it inspires. The previous Guest movies all had an affection for their luckless, sometimes pathetic characters. This movie has seemingly nothing but spite. In his previous films, the characters disappointment is always tempered with either their positive attitudes, or development that hints something positive is soon to come. This movie has none of that, ending with all the main characters sinking into professional and personal hell. The final scene typefies this.

Catherine O'Hara's character has spent the entire movie desperate for validation, eventually getting radical plastic surgery in the hopes of a career boost. But when it doesn't happen for her, she ends up teaching young actors. She gives an incoherent speech about how happy she is, clearly miserable... saying how the only way she can be comfortable in her own skin is to expunge everything within. It's depressing. I feel like Christopher Guest was saying to the shallow Hollywod types "Fuck you, you're pathetic." While they may deserve it, that sentiment doesn't necessarily translate into a funny, heartfelt movie.

I give "For Your Consideration" 0 Oscar nominations.